I’ll move to Florida I’ll buy a brand new pickup truck and I’ll tint all the windows including the driver’s side

Gotcha!!! (not actually going to tint the driver’s side)

Have you ever wanted to visit Poundtown? (not the grocery chain in the UK) Now is your chance! *pulls crank*

Persona: My name is Anna, and I’m that impossible combination of beautiful, personable, and smart that people often say doesn’t exist. The catch is that I’m kind of awkward, but make up for it with a sense of humor and tendency to make stupid puns. I spend nearly 100% of my day writing code (CSS can kiss my ass though), but some of those percents are spent looking for company, and therefore here we are. On a day-to-day basis you can find me wearing typical computer nerd attire such as turtlenecks, dad jeans, chino shorts, bro-tanks, granny panties, and headsets that only work 50% of the time, but don’t let that fool you - I will not make you run away screaming. In fact, I have been told that I’m prettier and sweeter in person :)

I offer an authentic experience that with stick with you for years to come. Nobody has had a disappointing experience with me, and most people have had what they call an “11 out of 10” experience with me, so statistically speaking there isn’t a whole lot that can go wrong.

Not ready to meet me but wanna see more? Unfortunately, in order to keep up my public real-life reputation separate from here I must keep my pics here a bit ambiguous. However, there are other locations on the web that can satisfy that urge if ya know what I mean.

To book, please send the following:

AgeAppearance/EthnicityPD Handle (with verified reviews from reputable providers) and/or work verificationOccupationI will not respond to new messages outside of my contacts that do not include the screening information

I am text-only and will ignore phone calls

Do you find my screening process problematic? Well then you should see my problembasement! (drum sounds) Wanna get on my good side? HMU via the link in my IG bio.

I look forward to meeting the ideal Mr., Mrs. and/ or Mx. "Right Now" ;)

Are you that person? The JavaScript function below can help you find out.

var determineIfDumbass = function (name, message, screeningInfo, trustedProviderContactInfo) {

    let datGuy = name;

    let datMessage = message;

    let datInfo = screeningInfo;

    let datReference = trustedProviderContactInfo;

    function asksForBBFS(datMessage) {

      if (datMessage.includes( "hey I'm a fucking idiot do u do bbfs babe I swear I don't hav the std sweatie")) {

        return true;

      }

      return false;

    }

    function sendMessage(datReference) {

      datReference = Boolean(Math.round(Math.random()));

      return datReference;

    }

    function askReferences(datGuy, datReference) {

      if (sendMessage(datReference) === false || typeof datGuy !== "string") {

        return false;

      }

      return true;

    }

    function passesScreening(datInfo) {

      if (!datInfo && !!askReferences(datGuy, datReference)) {

        return false;

      }

      return true;

    }

    if (!asksForBBFS(datMessage) && passesScreening(datInfo)) {

      return "Anna might see you, but is extremely busy with work so doesn't often have time 4 meetups plz forgive";

    } else {

      return "get bent!";

    }

  };